Discovering what midlife even means can be a self-consuming exercise. This post will make a comparison between a library and the midlife lifestyle. It will also include the importance of experiences gained in our 20s and 30s. Then, Erik Erikson’s chart of the eight stages of life will lay out the basic conflicts and virtues of each stage.
How the Library and Midlife are Related
Another way to refer to midlife is to think of it as the library lifestyle phase of life.
Remember going to the library in school? I loved going to the library! The weekly trip to the library was like a staycation from the classroom.
In the library, I was still at school. But, being in the library freed me from all of the assignments: worksheets, spelling tests, timed math tests (that would have a grade assigned to them)! The girls had a long, library table. And, the boys had their own long, library table. This table arrangement freed me from all those stinky boys that were sillier than a baseball cap full of little buttholes! In the library, I could whisper with friends and browse the bookshelves. I could complete my homework assignments, get a drink of water or even put my head on the table for a quick rest.
By the time I had reached my late 30s, I can honestly say I loved a quiet visit to any library! Oh yeah! the library lifestyle was for me!
Experience is Required for Midlife Self-Discovery
I was busy gaining grown-up life experiences in my 20s and 30s. Like many of you, I was happily and feverishly finding out all about career, marriage, and becoming a mom. I was also witnessing how hard life can come down on us, sometimes with no notice at all.
Then, my 40s began to take on more of a focus. I had gained enough life experience to realize I needed to better center myself. That meant finding the maturity to better deal with the messy parts of life. This introspection opened up time to rethink a few of the hard-set ideas of a culture and society that I had questioned in my teens. A desire for emotional growth filled me up. I began looking forward to everything life was about to bring my way. I realized I was in charge of how I thought about the so-called dreaded midlife years and the eventual transition to retirement. So, that’s when I decided to think about midlife as the library lifestyle phase of life. A time to slow down a bit, check in with my peers, rethink the future, read up on my options and take a few, deep breaths.
Erikson’s Eight Stages of Life
Now, I have to share the thought train I was on while realizing I’m risking breaking out my nerdy, teacher-y side!
So, I pulled out the old college, child-psych book. I really used the www and looked up Erik Erikson. He’s a well-known, 20th century, child psychoanalyst. And, the one who coined the phrase, identity crisis.
His Psychosocial Stages of Life Chart divides life into eight stages. Then, it lists the basic conflicts and virtues with each stage. The virtues identify the different meanings that Erikson attached to each stage based on age.
simplypsychology.org/erik-erikson.html
WOW!
According to this research, middle age runs from 30 years old all the way to 64 years old. See, there it is, all broken down for us by my favorite psychoanalyst, Erik! Thirty-four years is a loooong time, friends.
SO, the sooner we leave the pity party of aging, the better. Instead of ruminating on nostalgia and regret, midlife is best spent embracing change and personal growth.
Midlife means it’s time to look around, make some important reassessments about where we currently are and where we want to go for the next three decades. Kind of like looking for that perfect library book. We want the midlife years to be worth our time!
Now, let’s get a wiggle on and pull our community together with some grace and humor!
